Another one of the greatest things about the MBTI is that it can also really help with understanding other people. However, trying to understand others who are very different from you can be very difficult without their help, even if you have written material intended to explain your differences to work from.
When attempting to explain the differences between attitudes in my last Myers-Briggs-related post, I became frustrated with a couple of the functions, Thinking in particular. This is because Thinking is my inferior (4th) function. Now I can explain how I think, but when it comes to the opposite attitude, I'm lost. So I've decided to focus what I know.
I'm an INFP: Introverted, iNtuiting (before Sensing), Feeling (before Thinking), Perceiving. Personality pages will call us things like "healers", "idealists", and "dreamers". Another personality theorist named Keirsey grouped the 16 MBTI types into four categories, and gave each an adjective name. According to his system, we're Healers and we fall into the Idealist category.
Some people call us jerks.
This makes sense. Because our dominant function is Introverted Feeling or Fi, we are very in tune with our own emotions but not always so much with the emotions of others. However, this doesn't mean we can't or don't care about or empathize with others. It just starts with us rather than them. If we have experienced something similar to someone, we connect to them through that feeling. We care very deeply about the things and people that/who are most important to us and constantly weigh the values of everything. Given that Fi is an introverted trait, it is often very good for us to be alone with our feelings and we may not share them unless we feel it necessary. Another pattern I've begun to see in some introverted functions is that they are not easy to communicate. Parts of my mental world are understood and stored in colors, textures, and other feeling-tones. It takes my Thinking function to communicate them understandably.
In comparison to Fe (extroverted feeling), our abilities to interact well with and accurately perceive the feelings of others are more consciously developed than they are for Fe types, especially as children. Dominant and auxiliary functions are said to be the first to develop. When I first read about Fe, I immediately thought about how cool it would be to have. Fe allows you to pick up on other people's feelings nearly unconsciously. There have been times when I've felt broken because I've been unable to emotionally connect with someone I cared about in a time of their need. When I am able to deeply empathize with someone, it's a wonderful feeling, even if it's still bittersweet. Luckily for INFPs, Fe is our first shadow function, and likely to be experienced most of that group.
An INFP's auxiliary function is Extroverted iNtuiting, or Ne. I haven't looked into this one much, but it's probably why I enjoy literature as much as I do. It also contributes to a love of ideas and brainstorming. Please pardon me for not discussing it.
Our tertiary function, Extroverted Sensing or Si has been described as being like an expanded memory. It works to find commonalities between experiences. This can be especially helpful when paired with other functions, and/or especially hurtful when paired with Fi specifically. In the MBTI/INFP community this is referred to at the Fi-Si Loop. This is how it works: we feel something, Si kicks in and reminds us of a time we've feel the same or similar, and that feeling can compound and either empower us or bring us to a deeper low. That's by no means the only way Fi and Si combine though. Sometimes a negative feeling that I haven't felt in a long time will come over me in reaction to something that does not initially seem to directly correlate to the last time I felt it, I use Si to find as many connections as possible, and then use Te to contemplate the exact cause of the feeling so that it can be avoided in the future. Particularly negative Fi-Si loops can greatly hinder our lives if we don't develop skills to break out.
Extroverted Thinking or Te is our inferior function. This doesn't mean much except that it is used last and not as developed as other functions. Te focuses on organization. When I think about things, I know the process I go through. I converse with myself in my head. Hearing my own and/or others' thoughts spurs new patterns and ideas. I enjoy the connections between things and sometimes use Ne to build novel ones. My ENTJ friend whose dominant function is Te is constantly analyzing systems, building graphs to express new discoveries, and seeking out people to discuss ideas with. He and I have great interactions as I bring out his inferior Fi and he brings out my Te. I and other INFPs have found that when we don't have someone else to bounce ideas off of, recording ourselves on video and watching it afterward can help us organize our thoughts even more effectively than just speaking them to ourselves.
A Ti-dominant individual helped clarify some things for me today in regards to his dominant function. He does not converse with himself in his thoughts. As my Fi is so difficult to explain sometimes, so is his Ti. Some Ti folk have a terrible time having to show their work in math or other related areas as it is counter-intuitive to their process. For them, things just click. For INFPs, and likely a few other Te types, attempting to use Ti is incredibly draining.
I may continue to post on these topics and others in the future. Please comment if you have questions, comments, links of interest, or punny jokes.
I may continue to post on these topics and others in the future. Please comment if you have questions, comments, links of interest, or punny jokes.
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